Contents

Five Keys To Setting Sustainable Goals

The Difference Between Being Right and Doing the Right Thing

Creative Inspiration - How to Have It.

Lessons to Cope With Loss

Five Keys to Setting Sustainable Goals
by Anne Walsh

We’ve all been there. How many of you have set up new year’s resolutions only to discover that you have slipped after the first week or been to a workshop and sworn that this time you are really going to achieve those dreams you have had at the back of your mind? The following article gives you five keys on setting goals that will keep you motivated.

Key One: Make them realistic, make them yours.
Key Two: Write them down.
Key Three: See them every day.
Key Four: Make it easy, set up strong support structures.
Key Five: Acknowledge and review regularly.

Key One -- Make Them Realistic, Make Them Yours

Jung described a parent’s unrealized dreams as the most powerful influence in a child’s life. When you choose your goals, make sure they are your goals not anyone else’s. Also, make sure that the goals are realistic. For example, you may not be able to make the Olympics gymnastic team, but you could walk a marathon next year or work towards a high standard in yoga. Be honest with yourself about it and when the “yeah, but” tape starts playing remind yourself that you are not given a dream without the capacity to make it true. This is particularly true if you find that you have a recurring desire about something.

Key Two -– Write Them Down

There’s something about the human brain that doesn’t seem to see things as real until they are visible or written down. Pick 3 – 5 goals that you want to achieve for the coming year and write them down. Make sure that they are measurable. Writing down “I will save money” is a goal, but writing down “I will have saved $4000 in the next 12 months” is more powerful.

Key Three -– See Them Every Day

Write your goals on ten of small 3” X 5” index cards and have them visible everywhere to you. Another powerful exercise is to take time to visualize what your life would be like with those goals. If you can make the experience as vivid as possible, it gets the brain going on ways to achieve them…in ways you could never imagine at the beginning!

Key Four -– Make It Easy, Set Up Strong Support Structures.

Don’t rely on your own willpower to carry you through because it probably won’t. (But you know that already, don’t you?) We live in each other’s shadows, we are interdependent. Put systems and supports in place that will sustain you when your energy is low. For example, if you plan to save money, set up an automated direct debit to do it. If you want to exercise more, find something you enjoy and buddy up with someone to go with. Build in a practice of daily silence/meditation/prayer to help you keep in touch with your deeper, truer self. Get a coach to help create structures and keep you accountable. Remind yourself on a daily basis of the benefits of achieving this goal.

Key Five – Acknowledge and Review Regularly.

Set aside time every week to quickly review your goals, acknowledge progress, and simply note where you have slipped. Slippage is inevitable. Don’t beat yourself up, note what caused it and begin again! Adopt a gentle curiosity with yourself as to what caused you to slip and then begin again.

The Difference Between Being Right and Doing the Right Thing
by John Mehrman

Is it better to be right, or to do right? Is there a real difference between being right and doing the right thing? When it comes to communications, support, and teamwork, there is a perceptible difference between the two.

Customer Service.

Assisting customers can be rewarding, frustrating, and downright annoying. The scope of dealing with customers is as diverse as the personalities of the individual customers and the situation that each customer is experiencing. Some customers are grateful for assistance, and express appreciation for the efforts to help them. Some customers are frustrated by a situation or experience, and may express aggravation in a myriad of unpleasant ways. After an interaction with a highly charged angry customer, it can be challenging to not allow the experience to influence your attitude toward the next customer experience. Recipients of highly charged emotional outbursts may carry the experience beyond the workplace. There is a way to dissuade this personalization of an intense exchange with a frustrated customer, and to alleviate the personal aggravation that may result from the experience.

Perhaps one of the most frustrating experiences in providing customer service is the occasional encounter with a customer who is deliberately providing false or misleading information. Regardless of the reason that the customer is being deceptive, it is tempting to be insulted or annoyed by such an encounter. The frustration from this type of experience can also be alleviated with the proper approach to handling the customer.

In the case of angry, belligerent, and deceptive customers, a common response is the feeling that it is necessary to prove that we are right. In an effort to prove that we are right, it may also imply that someone else is wrong. That someone who is implicated as the individual in the wrong is none other than the customer. In the effort to prove that we are right, we may alienate the customer and create a situation in which our interests are at odds with one another. The focus of the interaction and the dialogue may shift from addressing a specific issue, and turn to the great divide between who is right, and who is wrong. The effort to be right, or to prove that we are right, may intensify the anger, frustration, or deceit without making any progress to resolve the underlying problem. In addition to losing the customer loyalty, the result is quite often an unsatisfying exchange that leaves both parties with lingering aggravation. There is no lasting satisfaction from an empirical victory that proves we are right, at the cost of neglecting what is the right thing to do.

To overcome the emotional experience exchange, maintain a clear and concentrated focus on doing what is right. It may be necessary to explain your actions or response with the perception of why you believe that you are doing the right thing. This is not to imply that you are right, but rather why you believe that it is the right thing to do for the customer. Simply saying that it is policy is not usually a satisfactory explanation. It may be necessary to provide a reasonable rationale for the policy. Doing the right thing may or may not include a customer accommodation, and sometimes even the accommodation is not satisfactory. If you can maintain a concentrated focus on the issues and the right thing to do for your customer, avoiding the interpersonal battle of who is right or wrong, you can align yourself with the customer and endeavor to be a customer advocate. Acting as an advocate for your customer in earnest will give you the lingering satisfaction that you have honestly endeavored to do the right thing, regardless of the outcome.

Teamwork.

It is unfortunate that similar battles occur with the workplace. As pressure builds and personalities collide, it is inevitable that conflicts arise in which members of the same workplace community are at odds regarding who is right, and who is wrong. Sometimes there is a perceived need for an individual to prove him or her right. This personal need is harbored internally, just waiting for an opportunity to pounce upon an unsuspecting coworker. As internal frustration builds, it may erupt as a volcano of capital letters or profanity in an email or personal confrontation. Email has made it far too easy to attack coworkers and expose inner frailties to the masses while maintaining a temporary safe distance. Confrontational emails are public demonstrations of personal attacks that typically coincide with vicious rumors and unhealthy gossip. The public effort to aggressively prove one as being right is often the public display of a rot that has been growing beneath the surface. The damage to all parties involved, and the collateral damage to innocent bystanders copied on the communications, can be detrimental to teamwork and motivation of the organization.

The vision of what is right and in the best interest of the company or customers may vary between individuals. It is expected that perception and description of the right direction may be shaped by previous experiences, successes, and knowledge. When these experiences and perspectives are shared in a respectful manner between individuals, it fosters a community approach and a sense of unity. Even when individuals disagree on the definition of what is right, it is possible to acknowledge, understand, and agree on a collaborative course of action. Differences in opinion on the right thing to do may also create opportunities for alternatives and back up plans. The key is to be respectful of the experiences and successes of the other individuals within the company team, regardless of personal perspectives or personalities. The important thing is to come to consensus on the right course of action, rather than debating which person is right. Being able to distinguish what is right, from who is right, is the mark of a mature organization on the path to success.

You may read this and think that it is right, or you may have another perspective. I respect your opinion. In any case, this may be an opportunity to create some dialogue within your own organization to discuss and collaborate on what is the right course of action for you and your customers. I trust that you will find satisfaction in doing the right thing, with an understanding that the definition of what is right may evolve and adapt over time.

Keep smiling.

Creative Inspiration - How to Have It
by Steve Gillman

You probably like the idea of creative inspiration, that wonderful new idea that pops into you head without warning. The reality is that such bursts of creativity do happen. Einstein claimed he had great ideas come to him while he was shaving in the morning. And then there is the chemist Friedrich August Kekulé, who famously discovered the ring structure of benzene in a bizarre dream about a snake biting its tail. Here is how he described it:

"I turned my chair to the fire and dozed. Again the atoms were flitting before my eyes. This time the smaller groups kept modestly in the background. My mental eye, rendered more acute by repeated visions of this kind, could now distinguish larger structures, of manifold conformation; long rows, sometimes more closely fitted together; all twining and twisting in snake-like motion. But look! What was that? One of the snakes had seized hold of its own, and the form whirled mockingly before my eyes. As if by a flash of lightning, I awoke."

He awoke, and he suddenly understood what the structure of the chemical benzene must be like. Of course, he had been studying the matter and thinking about it for a while. That is the important clue to how to have these creative inspirations yourself. The "aha" moment is only possible because of the work you put into something beforehand.

These creative insights don't come from nowhere, in other words. Kekulé was a chemist, after all, and not a plumber. Had he been a plumber, he might have had a dream about a whirlpool and awoke with an idea for a new type of flushing toilet. Your creative ideas come from your knowledge and your mental work with that knowledge. These aren't all it takes, of course, but they are necessary.

Lessons to cope with loss
by Ane Tide

Grief will occur as the direct response to a strong loss; therefore, grief is to be regarded as a quite normal reaction that has to be dealt with in order not to become a severe condition that can even damage one’s state of health. The online memorial was especially designed in order to help people deal with grief in a positive and healing manner. Grief is natural but it is important to acknowledge its main features in order to look for the necessary way out. The healing process is to be promoted in order for the person to move out from this state.

The grieving process will be facilitated by support and time; you will have to be provided with the necessary opportunities in order to take care of your loss. You will have to mourn in the appropriate manner in order to hurry the healing process; therefore, the online memorial is to be regarded as the perfect tool in order to mourn your beloved one. Healthy grief will promote the necessary healing process and it also prevents you getting into health problems. You may also hire a professional help in order to advice when it comes to this serious matter that is to be taken seriously in order to learn how to overcome it before being too late.

There are several stages when it comes to the common grief; first, you will have to acknowledge the presence of these stages in order to learn how to deal with them. But these levels are not likely to come along with their own methods of grieving; they will not bring along the appropriate response that people should expect from you. The stages of every grieving process are likely to reflect all the various reactions that may surface you in order to become aware of the way they may affect you in a serious manner.

First, you are likely to experience denial and numbness; you will have to cope with loss in order to get rid of this stage. Shock will also come along the way because it can prevent every individual from experiencing the real tragedy that has occurred. The intensity of every loss will not be experienced and numbness will come as the direct result to this immediate loss. This reaction is not to be confused with a sort of lack of caring because this is not the case. On the contrary, the individual is not able to accept the loss. In this stage, the online memorial can become highly beneficial because it can help the person accept the given situation.

Disbelief and even denial will be enhanced in order for the individual not to acknowledge the real impact of his/her loss; the accompanying feelings will thus be prevented and the individual will appear as an immune person who is not able to understand what is really going on around him. The next stage of the grieving process will consist in bargaining and every individual can actually become quite preoccupied about various ways and things that would have end better if he would have reacted in a different manner.

The individual will become keen on imagining things that are not likely to happen and this reaction is a typical one that will help you provide yourself with the necessary insight when it comes to the loss you have suffered. All these feelings of despair and remorse are to be handled in the proper and even professional manner in order not to hinder the normal healing process. Depression can install its features in case that you are not able to take care of your real feelings; you will have to learn how to cope with loss in order not to be affected in a more serious way that may influence your general state of health.

Appetite disturbance may come along with sleep disturbance as well and all these features may affect your health too; lack of concentration and energy and even the crying spells are likely to characterize the entire healing process and you will have to start reorganizing your own life. You may even face the anger when thinking about the fact that your beloved one has died; anger may come as the direct result of you feeling powerless and helpless; you will have to deal with your momentary weakness in order to overcome the grieving process.

The individual must acknowledge his own guilt, if this is the case, in order to become able to move on with his own life. The negative feelings are to be expressed in order not to be blocked inside; these negative feelings are quite natural when it comes to dealing with a recent loss but they should be replaced with more positive attitudes and feelings such as honoring the beloved’s memory by using the online memorial.