Contents

The Janitor

3 Basic Steps to Success In Anything

Zen Listening and Communication 101

Memorial Day, 3 Ways To Honor American Soldiers

The Janitor
Author Unknown

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor.  The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning). After the test, the manager says, "You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day."

Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, "Well, then, that means that you virtually don't exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed."  Stunned, the man leaves. 

Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. 

Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly. After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pick-up truck to support his expanding business. 

By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned. "What, you don't have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? 

Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the Internet from the very start!"  After a moment of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, "Why, of course! I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft!"

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3 Basic Steps to Success in Anything
Daniel N Brown

Since belief always precedes action, simply changing your beliefs can change your actions to those that will result in living any of your dreams.  It's not complicated at all. In fact, taking these three basic steps can make anyone a winner in their chosen endeavors.

1. Control and direct your thoughts.  It's a decision you make concerning what you think about. So whether you think success, or failure, that's what you will eventually reap.

Thoughts are powerful forces of energy and can only come from your own mind. Since you are the only person in charge of your mind, you create the thoughts that create the circumstances in your life. Since your thoughts create reality, you create your reality.

Just as the conscience mind is the source of thought, so the subconscious mind is the source of power. You give instructions to your subconscious mind through your thoughts. It doesn't know good from bad or right from wrong. It only follows your instructions, which are your thoughts. It will create anything you tell it.

Now, have you given some definite directed thought to your purpose or your mission? If so, is it written down? Without directed thought aimed at your purpose and goals in writing you are like the proverbial "ship without a rudder," wandering everywhere while going nowhere.

2. Don't worry about the "how-to."  A big mistake is trying to figure out how you are going to do something before you do it. Start by believing you can do something and the "how-to" will follow.  Strong belief triggers the mind to figuring ways and means and the "how-to." So, the simplest way to do anything is to hold a mental picture of what you want as long as possible and as often as possible. Feel that you already have what you desire with certainty and you will see the "how to do it" become manifested.  Because our thoughts are vibrating energy, we create what we want by focusing our thoughts on those things.

3. Get going.  You're simply not committed until you take action. There is a cause and effect to everything. You think a thought, and then you decide whether or not to act upon it. If you act upon it, there will be a result. If you do not act upon it, there will be a result.

Many times, we are forced to make choices without knowing the exact outcome. Should you remain indecisive in those cases? No choice is a choice and there will be a result.  Don't be afraid of taking action. Be in control of your life! Think positive thoughts, come up with ideas, seek advice from Godly people who are on the same page, spend time with God and seek His council, and then act!  Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you change your beliefs.

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Zen Listening and Communication 101
Ken Donaldson, M.A., L.M.H.C.

Zen: Finding enlightenment through intuition and introspection.

Listening: Making an effort to attentively hear what another person is saying.

Therefore Zen Listening might be best described as an enlightened art of using one’s intuition and introspection to be fully present with another person during a conversation for the purpose of thoroughly hearing and understanding the other person’s communication. Why is this so important? Because when you thoroughly listen, you create a very powerful communication dynamic that deepens your relationships and creates powerful boundaries at the same time. A Zen Listener has the ability to eliminate the potential of unnecessary conflict and to create a
more powerful presence. I invite you to become a more powerful communicator through Zen Listening.

Zen Listening includes, but is not limited to, the following dynamics:
 
* Letting go of your own agendas, opinions, judgments, and/or advice.
* Being present with the other person and disconnecting from your own thoughts.
* Inviting the other person to say more.
* Asking for clarification when you are unclear about what is being said.
* Offering understanding when you really get what the other person is conveying.
* Being an objective listener and observer since this is all about understanding (and not at all about agreeing). There is no right or wrong.
* Letting go of criticism.
* Listening with all your senses and your intuition to really get a thorough experience of the other person’s communication.
* And when in doubt, asking the other person what it is that they would like from you. If they request input or advice, then feel free to offer such, but if not, then be prepared to offer your best Zen Listening.

Unfortunately none of us had an Interpersonal Communications 101 course in our schooling, very few of us have even had a good communications course, and many of us have had questionable communication and relationship role models. Therefore, it is your responsibility (if you want healthy, lasting, and fulfilling relationships), to learn how to be an effective communicator. The best communicator is the one who does the most powerful listening and the one who doesn’t react emotionally.

Following are tools to help you become a more powerful listener. Consider this your Communications 101 curriculum.

1. Be a mirror. When a negative conversation is directed at you, in a calm voice simply restate what you hear the person saying to you (What I hearing you saying is ______________.) The more you repeat back what the person is saying to you, the more he or she will feel as though you are truly listening and hearing what it is that they are saying. This will help to diffuse the situation and at the same time you will better understand what it is that the other person is saying to you.

2. Take a Time-Out. Take an agreed upon time-out if things become too heated or if you need time to process your thoughts and feelings about the conversation you are having. Sometimes a time- out can be a constructive tool to avoid unnecessary aggression and induce better understanding. You have the right to take some time. Simply state that you need some time to think about and process what has been said, and then take it. Also, make sure you make an agreement as to when you will reconnect with each other again. Being quick to listen and slow to speak is a healthy and effective communication paradigm.

3. Yes, and what else? Perhaps the most powerful listening response you can say to another is, “Yes, and what else?” In doing so you are inviting the other person to step farther into their expression. The more they can share, and the less you interrupt or react defensively, the more connected the two of you will be in the conversation. For most people, listening is far more challenging than talking. If you do nothing else, be attentive to what the other person is saying and use these four magic words: Yes, and what else? By doing this it will keep you from thinking about your own needs and agenda, which will keep you focused on listening to the other person. When you focus on what the other person is saying, you will become a star listener.  Also, whenever you start a response with “Yes…” you are acknowledging and inviting a more positive response back from the other person.

4. It’s Not You, Really! When the other person is expressing a thought, feeling, need, issue, or judgment, it comes from their reality and is valid for them. It’s not about you! Most arguments would never happen if you would simply accept the other person’s point of view and agree to disagree. I have always said that there should have been at least one more commandment: Thou shalt not personalize. Constructive conversations are not about being right or wrong, but rather, about understanding.

5. Yes, It Is You! Your thoughts, feelings, needs, issues, and judgments are your reality and are valid for you. They have little to do with the other person; and some people (including the other person) may be unwilling to see things your way. A fulfilling conversation (and relationship) is about having, accepting, and negotiating differences. It is not about being right, seeking sameness or consensus. Speak your truth, share your opinion, and make your request if you have one. The other person cannot read your mind, and therefore, will never know unless you speak up.

6. Use I Statements. When you make I-statements you are taking full responsibility and you are being fully present in the conversation. A truly effective communicator must use I-statements. By making clear statements using I first, you will lower your chances of being misunderstood. When you take on the ownership of your feelings, opinions and needs you also diminish the chance of your becoming aggressive and the other person becoming defensive. In speaking from the "I" instead of the "you", you will be far less likely to provoke a defensive response from others.

7. Turn Complaints Into Requests. You bring many, many needs into interactions and relationships. When a need is not met, you will experience an issue. It is impossible for all needs to be met all the time in any relationship, so there will most likely be numerous issues to experience and express. If you make a request and stay focused on what you want to happen, instead of what is wrong or not happening, and negotiate toward a win-win outcome, you will effectively prevent or resolve conflict. This is staying focused on the solution instead of the problem. If you stay in the complaint, you will stay in the problem, and that will never fulfill your needs nor resolve the issue. Say what you are feeling and request what you want and need.

8. Check Double Messages. Sometimes a person says one thing but acts in an opposite behavior or wants something different than he or she expressed. Sometimes sarcastic messages mix humor with anger (or other emotions) and are difficult to decipher. Watch for inconsistent body language and other possible inconsistencies. Anytime you notice or feel that there might be some double message, stop and without any analyzing or accusations, ask for clarification.

9. Always Speak Your Truth. Part of the path to being your authentic self is being able to tell the full truth to the other people about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, and boundaries. Depending on the level and depth of the relationship, you can appropriately share yourself. The highest level of connection with another person is that of intimacy. One way of defining intimacy is to use the play-on-words in-to-me-see. This means that there is a transparency between you and another that requires full expression of what is inside both of you. Therefore, truly intimate relationships have an openness that transcends all other relationships. If you try to avoid conflict and try to maintain harmony by censoring yourself, you’ll find that your suppressed truth will start to come out in other ways, such as anger, withdrawal, resentment, or other forms of acting out. When you speak your truth it may seem scary, but will result in the kind of relationship that you really want.

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Memorial Day, 3 Ways To Honor American Soldiers
Author: Ronnie Kimball

The last Monday of May since 1868, has been designated as Memorial Day. Now, during that weekend, beer and picnic supply sales skyrocket. Travelers drive our nation's highways en masse. And don't forget the Indy 500.

And while it's important to have fun and celebrate Memorial Day weekend in your own way, it's also important to remember why that day exists. It was set aside to salute U.S. troops and pay tribute to the awesome sacrifices these brave men and women have made, and are still making, for our freedoms.

In case you've wondered how you could honor those sacrifices, here are 3 inexpensive ways:

1) Donate frequent flyer miles to help our wounded soldiers and their families.
You can do this through an organization called Operation First Response. OFR looks after wounded troops from Walter Reed and Bethesda Naval Hospital to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany to combat support hospitals in Iraq.  They also accept donations, like clothes, socks, underwear, toothbrushes, razors, etc...  You can help out this great organization by simply going to their site and seeing what you can do. http://www.operationfirstresponse.org/

2) Observe the National Moment of Remembrance. The Moment occurs on Memorial Day, 3 PM, local time, for only 1 minute. Participation is easy and completely voluntary.  The White House Commission on Remembrance urges Americans to observe in their own way. Ring a bell. Say a prayer. Salute the flag.  You could even call your favorite radio or TV station ahead of time and request that they play "Taps" at that time.  According to the Commission's website: ‘In May 1996, the idea of the Moment was born when children touring Washington, D.C., were asked what Memorial Day meant. They responded, "That's the day the pools open!"  Since then, the Commission has been dedicated to making Americans aware of observing the Moment.  To read more about it, go to: http://www.remember.gov/moment/about_event.cfm

3) Visit a military cemetery. You can pay tribute with the time-honored tradition of placing a small American flag, or flowers, on the graves of our fallen soldiers.  In 1952, the Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts began placing flags on the 150,000 graves at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery and carry on the tradition to this day.  If you're an arts and crafts type of person, an inexpensive silk flower arrangement or 2, of red, white and blue can be created and laid on a brave service man or woman's grave.  In 1924, the VFW started their famous Buddy Poppy Program by selling artificial poppies made by disabled veterans. The tradition of selling red poppies to benefit our veterans goes back to the early 1900's and was inspired by Moina Michael, who sold red poppies to honor those who died in our nation's service.

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